It has been a busy week. I’ve really taken to writing letters, but this week I actually found
the most joy in a meeting the interns and I had with the Senator. It wasn’t long, probably half an hour at most. But what I found the most enjoyable was the opportunity to reflect on where I’d been and where I am now. At the beginning of my Al Adams Fellowship, I was acutely aware of my outsider status. I felt distinctly separate from the system of power and prestige I was working with. I had taken classes on Congress and the Legislative Branch, though I knew little to nothing about its day-to-day operations. Each time I saw Sen. Sullivan walk by on his way to the floor or a committee meeting, I stared in awe. All around me, I brushed shoulders with arguably the most powerful people in the United States. I was working directly with speechwriters, policy makers, legislative directors, and legislative counsel. I felt out of my depth. I came into my position intimidated, shy, and generally discombobulated. Over time, however, I gained confidence in the role I had. Remembering everything I’ve been taught from my parents, I worked hard to learn quickly. To produce quality work and prove myself capable of any responsibility seen fit to give me. Just before the coronavirus pandemic threw everything into uncertainty, I felt tentatively capable. I was finding my footing. Throughout the course of the pandemic as I worked from home, part of me felt like I was robbed. Grateful as I was to still have a position with Team Sullivan, I yearned to be back in the office. I felt I had more to grow into. Having tasted the satisfaction that comes from knowing you’re just starting to get your feet under you, I craved more. Coming back to the office this fall, even with the changes I noted last week, I have that chance again. I’m no longer shy in engaging with the Senator in meetings. I’m ready whenever he asks a question of me. I’ve been where my fellow interns are now. And though we have the same title, I don’t know if we share the same mindset. I don’t mean to degrade them at all, for I believe they all are exceptional in their own right. I only mean to reflect on my own unique experiences. From where I was this January to where I am now in September, a lot has changed. In coming back to the office, I’m realizing more than ever I am not the person I once was. My skills are finely shone, my technical writing is better, my researching capabilities are improved, and I’m not scared to answer a phone. I feel more confident in who I am, where I feel I belong, and in the environment around me. So while I return back to the office, I feel less like an outsider, and more like a true member of the team. I can’t wait to see where things go from here.
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Photo used under Creative Commons from Mike Juvrud